First tinderella match: Chris Brown doppelgänger.

No joke! He was tall, dark and handsome. His tagline was “new to SF” which is the most romantic idea to us city girls. We dream about exploring the beautiful 7×7 and falling in love simultaneously. Isn’t that where the whole “I left my heart in San Francisco” concept comes from?

We exchange numbers and begin texting.

I tell him what I do– to remain vague, my job is awesome and involves working with amazing tech startups. He was completely blown away. Like, flabbergasted.

Red flag number one.
Everyone in SF is one degree away from someone in tech– why was this so exciting and unheard of?

This begged the question: what do you do for a living?

…….

He was an officer on death row at San Quentin.

He called it the “q”…

I haven’t decided on whether I would feel safe around him, or completely frightened at the fact he is the guy injecting the poison to inmate #415 when it comes time.